Phone: 343-3391 Fax: 343-2934

29 Yaldhurst Road, Sockburn, Christchurch

PO Box 6088, Upper Riccarton, Christchurch 8442

The Fear of Fear

Gray Crawford
The Fear of Fear

People who come to Petersgate for counselling are often full of sadness and worry and it scares them. Some of them report waking up in the early hours of the morning, the monsters living under their beds filling them with feelings of dread that something horrible is about to happen. That they will then look stupid and be subjected to criticism, ridicule, and rejection. The resulting anxiety, anger, worry, and self-loathing then paralyses them into doing nothing because it’s always easier and safer to avoid the bad than search for the good.

Fear is not caused by any chemical imbalance in the brain. Antidepressants are not necessary to feel confident again. The problem goes deeper than our biology, much deeper. Our genes are only a minor factor. It was once described to me that our genes load the gun but it is all the external factors that we get subjected to in our daily lives that eventually pull the trigger.   

We all have physical needs. Right? We all need food, water, shelter, clean air. If anyone is deprived of any one of these necessities then they would be in real trouble, real fast. Human beings also have natural psychological needs. We need to feel that we belong. That our lives have purpose and meaning. That the people around us love us and value us.   

But Covid-19 has created a cruel and random world where our psychological needs may no longer being met. A world that now seems to be far more dangerous than it was before. Therefore being continually scared surely makes perfect sense. We are not weak. We are not crazy. We are just being human. A human who has allowed fear to become a driving force in their lives leading to a pattern of negative thoughts and debilitating beliefs, often not based on reality. A battle within ourselves that seems impossible to win.  

Counsellors at Petersgate can help. We can use positive psychology, cognitive behavioral therapy, solution-focused therapy and mindfulness to assist people in finding more courage, meaning, and purpose in their lives. Through our help people discover ways out of their web of fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. Ways to turn fears into fuel for self-discovery and self-growth and to turn self-imposed barriers into power and stepping-stones to emotional freedom. To still feel the fear but then do it anyway.